Zharth's Music Log (Revisited)
Week 127: Hot Legs
(Originally finalized on March 3, 2025)
Preface: When it comes to the physical assets wielded by the fairer sex, a common man will go wild for a little bit of T&A - or, in other words, boobies and booty. But it is a man of culture who can appreciate the delight in a nice pair of long, lean legs. It's why I like dancers and gymnasts - which, you'll find, are a perennial subject in the annals of finer art. So, this week, we're going to listen to songs extolling the virtues (albeit not in the most sophisticated manner) - and mesmerizing power - of a woman's legs!
Monday: ZZ Top - Legs [Eliminator, 1983]
Comments: We'll start with the quintessential rock song on this subject, simply and straightforwardly titled Legs. It comes from the awkward period when Texas blues rockers ZZ Top were dabbling with '80s production methods, making them sound at times almost more like an electronic dance band. Rest assured, I sought out the mixed version of this song that best emphasizes its rock and roll spirit. "She's got legs; she knows how to use them."
Tuesday: Rod Stewart - Hot Legs [Foot Loose And Fancy Free, 1977]
Comments: I don't know how Rod Stewart went from being the singer in the Jeff Beck Group to being a cheesy pop balladeer - but I guess if it works, it works. Suffice to say, he doesn't have a lot of music I've heard that I particularly like, but this is one of the exceptions - because it swings, and... well, it's relatable! "You've got legs right up to your neck. You're makin' me a physical wreck."
Wednesday: Alvin Lee - Long Legs [Nineteen Ninety-Four, 1994]
Comments: If Ten Years After doesn't get the recognition it deserves (despite a memorable feature in the Woodstock documentary), even less well-documented is Alvin Lee's career after leaving the band in the mid-'70s to focus on continuing to play blues rock, and not chasing more hits like I'd Love To Change The World - which is what the record label wanted - a move that, to his credit, demonstrates considerable artistic integrity. Here's an obscure track from the '90s that displays the singularity of Lee's vision; it's a bluesy vamp that manages to hold this listener's interest for over six minutes, despite leaning on the repetition of some very simplistic lyrics. "She's got long legs - I love it where they meet."
Thursday: Van Halen - Drop Dead Legs [MCMLXXXIV, 1984]
Comments: Another track from the album Van Halen named after the year of its release - the last David Lee Roth would record before quitting the band - this song doesn't especially stand out, but it features some characteristically competent instrumentation from this virtuosic group, without getting bogged down - as some of the other songs from this album do - by the synthesizers the band was playing with around this time. "Drop dead legs, pretty smile. Hurts my head; gets me wild."
Friday: AC/DC - Shake A Leg [Back In Black, 1980]
Comments: I hesitated to include this song with this theme, because it seems more preoccupied with juvenile delinquency than the effect of female anatomy on the male brain. But the euphemistic phrase "shake a leg" could be taken as a double-entendre; and anyway, this is a solid track from a classic album by a beloved band. And I couldn't pass up the chance to include AC/DC and ZZ Top (classic rock's alphabetical bookends) together on the same theme! "So stop your grinnin' and drop your linen for me."
Saturday: Freddie King - Big Legged Woman [Texas Cannonball, 1972]
Comments: We return to the subject of Texas blues with the Texas Cannonball himself - Freddie King (accompanied by Leon Russell on piano) - singing his praises to the charms of a "big legged woman". My only reservation with this song is the choice of the modifier "big" in place of "long". To be fair, Freddie wasn't a small man himself, but I'd prefer to steer clear of "fat bottom" territory. Regardless, who doesn't love a short, short miniskirt? I was never very interested in football in high school, but I always loved game days - because the cheerleaders would wear their uniforms to class! "She's a big legged woman with a short, short miniskirt."
Sunday: Aerosmith - Lord Of The Thighs [Get Your Wings, 1974]
Comments: While looking for songs to fill out this theme (after the obvious ones that immediately went on the list), I considered adjacent parts of a woman's body. Go too high, and you get to the hips, which are a popular subject for songs, but veer into the bottom end of T&A territory. But this song from Aerosmith's second album - before the band had really started to court major success - is still entirely within bounds. In fact, it reminds me of the Japanese phrase zettai ryouiki, or "absolute territory", which refers to the exposed area between a miniskirt and a pair of thigh high stockings. "You're the bait and you're the hook. Someone bound to take a look."
Honorable Mention: The Eagles - Those Shoes [The Long Run, 1979]
Comments: I was committed to including this song this week, even though the theme is legs and this isn't even about feet, but the shoes you put on them (as Michelangelo once said, "the foot is more noble than the shoe"). But though that could be considered a separate topic, I don't think it's entirely unrelated. And anyway, how good is this song? An underrated gem from The Eagles' final album before breaking up, the lyrics describe the double-edged sword of a young woman embracing her sexual agency, while Joe Walsh and Don Felder take turns playing the talkbox over a sinister beat. "Got those pretty little straps around your ankles."