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10/6/06

The Solemn Grave

I'm sinking
darkness surrounds me
where is the eternal light?
where is the glory and the peace that was supposed to greet me?
where is the feast I was promised?
I feel as the butt of some grand and wicked joke
How many years have I toiled?
How many years have I suffered?
How many years must one serve to atone for the sins of the father?
There was no reward
Everything I missed, is now, if not, too, then, forever out of reach
This, this end...is the ultimate injustice
The pain in my heart, the longing...
At least then, there was a shadow of a hope
But now I see that shadow clearly, and it has spread into a wide and suffocating void
Like a black hole that feeds on dreams and desires
I feel my entire existence was but for one purpose - to suffer
But though in just another moment, it will no longer matter to me ever again,
I do not feel relieved, rather I feel sick
For I was expecting more
And I know I'll never see it
What cruel hoax is this anomaly called life...?